Stay at home Moms "earn" more than hubby

Recently I saw on Facebook a cute cartoon showing a Mom in bed watching a movie. The house was a wreck, the kids were running amuck and the dog, well let's just say he needed a walk that he didn't get. The husband comes home from work and sees the absolute chaotic state of the house and frantically searches for his wife. When he finds her he asks if she is sick. Does she need to go to the doctor. Her reply? "You know how you always come home and ask what I did all day? Well, today I didn't"
It may lose something in translation but how many times has a husband (including my ex) thought that a stay at home Mom does nothing but watch soap operas and eat bon bons all day?
An article in Forbes magazine quoted the site salary.com in saying that if a stay at home Mom got PAID for everything she does, she would make about $115,000 dollars a year!!! And this article didn't even include being the family nurse/doctor. In this economy, how many full time workers are earning that much? As an officer in the United States Navy, having served 24 years, my ex didn't make that much!!
Stay at home Moms need to be appreciated for just how much they actually contribute to the household and the family.
http://www.forbes.com/sites/jennagoudreau/2011/05/02/why-stay-at-home-moms-should-earn-a-115000-salary/ 

Save more money in 2013

I don't usually "do" New Year's Resolutions. This year is different. 2012 had so many ups and downs, I felt like I had purchased a never ending "E ticket" at Disneyland. Does ANYBODY remember the "E tickets"? I know, that makes me old but some of my fondest memories are of my Dad tearing an E ticket from the book of tickets and handing it to me just moments before we got on a ride. Being old enough and tall enough to use an E ticket was a big deal and being at Disneyland with my Dad was a magical time.
Anyway, sorry for the nostalgiac moment. I actually hadn't thought about those times in a while. If you'll excuse me, I'm going to go look through some old photo albums. I'll be right back.
OK, I'm ready now. So the main thing I want to do in 2013 is to save money. If you read my post about breaking my leg, then you know I don't currently have health insurance. It's not that I'm not trying to get insurance because I AM. I've either been denied or can't afford it so I'm still shopping. In the meantime, I have a huge mountain of medical bills I have to budget for on top of my current monthly living expenses. I am on a very tight budget and limited income so every penny has to be accounted for and stretched to it's max.
I'm guessing that some of you are on tight budgets also, so I want to share with you some money saving ideas that will help all of us have a better financial year in 2013 than we did in 2012.
Let's start with saving money on food. Depending on the size of your family, this can be a huge part of your budget.
Buy what's in season and on sale. If you love a certain fresh produce that you can't find in the "off season", learn how to can or freeze properly. That way you can have it all year long and you saved money by buying it when it was at it's lowest price. This rule applies to non perishables too.
Summer is the best time to buy anything and everything "picnicy". Ketchup, mustard, paper plates, plastic utencils, hamburgers, hotdogs, buns for both, charcoal, a BBQ gril, etc...
Winter, specifically November and December, all of your baking supplies go on sale. Check expiration dates on canned goods like condensed milk, evaporated milk, pumpkin, other pie fillings. Why do we only eat pumpkin pie twice a year? I make pumpkin cheesecake and pumpkin "whip" all year long. Buy 2 turkeys in November and put one in the "big" freezer for smoked turkey in the summer in that new smoker you bought for Thanksgiving. Same with ham.
I usually buy holiday items the day AFTER the holiday when it's on clearance and stash it away for next year or a fun treat in the middle of the year. Red Christmas cookie sprinkles can be used in February for Valentine's cookies or on your child's birthday cake.
As long as you store things properly, there's no reason you can't buy them now when they're on sale and use them later in the year.
Use coupons. Buy it when it's on sale AND when you have a coupon. Doing it this way, doubles your savings so you can buy more than one. Take your coupon to the store that doubles or triples your coupon. Look online for your store's coupon policy. At some stores you can only buy 1 of a particular item with a coupon. Don't load your basket only to find out that most of your coupons can't be used on the same order or on the same day.
If you can't find a coupon for an item you buy on a regular basis, email the company and ask for a coupon. For example, bananas. The ONLY time I've seen a coupon for bananas is when my friend emailed for one. Don't be afraid to ask. The worst that can happen is they say "no" or just ignore you. LOL!
Plan out your shopping trip. Take a little bit of time on the weekend or in the evening and read the sale papers, check your coupons and store card discounts. Then write down a plan. You may have to go to 3 different stores to get the best prices but it will save you a lot of money that way. And now-a-days, stores are within blocks of each other so you're not spending that much more in gas.
Bring a cooler with reusable ice packs for the cold stuff and keeping frozen goods together will help keep them from defrosting too much.
Double the recipe. It doesn't take much to double a recipe. Freeze or can the second batch to save time and money later in the month. If you know that you have dinner that can be reheated at home, you're less likely to stop at the drive-thru after work or after the kids' soccer practice. Leftovers should be divided into individual serving sizes, in reusable, microwave safe containers for lunch the next day or an after school snack.
Stretch the meat.  I am definitely a "meat-atarian" as my nephew used to say. LOL! I can't believe how much meat costs these days!! And I've read that the price of beef is going to go through the roof due to droughts in the cattle ranching states. So, trying to make every bite, penny and pound go as far as possible, here's a few things I do.
Add Quinoa. Technically it's a seed but it's in the grain family so you're also getting your extra serving of whole grains. Cook the quinoa separately and add to whatever meat dish you're making. Quinoa has very little flavor on it's own so it won't change the flavor of your dish. Plus it's very filling so you can serve smaller portions which will stretch your recipe and your money.
Adding grated potato is another way to make your pound of meat go further. For me personally, I only add potato to a recipe that has strong flavors like Mexican or Italian but watch out for the added carbs.
Next time, we'll look at how to save money on clothing for the entire family.
Happy shopping AND saving
Auntie
askauntieann@gmail.com

Men, getting engaged?

A lot of folks got engaged over the Christmas holiday and many more will get engaged during New Year's Eve celebrations. The number one day of the year to get engaged is of course Valentine's Day.
SO LISTEN UP MEN!!!!
There a only a handful of days in a woman's life that she will count as "the best day of my life" and the day you propose marriage to her is right near the top of that list. Her wedding day and the birth of her babies are possibly the only ones that will top the day she gets engaged.
My number one tip and best advice I can offer you is this...know your audience and plan ahead!!!
Is she a sports fan? or is she more of a sunset on the beach kinda gal?
You absolutely must think about what SHE likes and doesn't like before you plan your proposal. And yes! I advise you to plan it. Plan where you'll be and what you'll say. Have a back up plan just in case. If you want it outdoors and it rains, what is plan B? If it's a special restaurant, call in advance (Like weeks in advance. Not the day before) for reservations. What if they're booked? Where will you go instead? And practice what you'll say, out loud. It may come out differently when the time actually arrives but at least you'll have heard it a few times, out loud and you won't be "as" nervous. And you won't choke on your own spit when you open your mouth to speak.
I'm sure occasionally, there are those times when a spontaneous proposal is ok but that is the exception, not the rule. The proposal is just as important as the ring you pick out. At least for the less materialistic lady. Again, is she the rule or the exception to the rule?
You need to know the heart of the woman you wish to spend the rest of your life with.
If she is not a die hard football fan like you are, it's probably NOT the best idea to propose on the big screen (turbotron? what is that big screen/scoreboard thingy called? LOL). See what I mean? How is she going to get excited about it if she doesn't even know what it's called so she can tell her friends about it for years to come? It's only good in the movies most of the time.
Are you 100 million, kabiliion, kazillion percent sure she'll say yes? If you're not that sure, then don't propose in a public setting like in front of all your friends and family or on the big tv, billboard sign thingy at the football game. You do not want to put pressure on her. If she says "yes" just to keep from embarrassing you, she'll have to dump you later and that will suck!!!
Take her Mom, sister or best friend (or all 3 if you can stand to be at the mall with all of them) with you when you pick out the ring. They will know her taste much better than you think you do. If there aren't ANY women you trust to help you pick out the ring, I suggest you keep the following in mind....unless she is a doctor, welder, active duty soldier or other profession where a huge rock on her finger will truly get in the way of things...bigger is better. There are those exceptions that really do just want something simple and understated but in general....go with the bigger rock. And pay attention to the jewelry she already wears. Is it white gold or yellow? Yes, it makes a difference!! Stick with diamonds unless you are SURE she would prefer a different stone. You can't go wrong with a diamond. And when the moment comes to give it to her, don't show her a ring in a box!! Again, that's in the movies. Hold it in your hand as you present it to her. A box is impersonal and blah. I don't know how else to explain it but in the box is just...ugh! Don't do it.
So, bottom line:
Know your lady. Would she prefer the big sign proposal or a quiet romantic spot? Maybe you have a special spot. Your first date? Your first kiss? Sunset is always a good time if you can't come up with any ideas. If you'd like specific ideas you can email me at askauntieann@gmail.com
Take someone with you to pick out the ring. Or go one size bigger than you think. You can't go wrong with a diamond. Know in advance if you're looking for white gold or yellow.
Above all else, PLAN a romantic gesture for the perfect proposal. One she will tell, everyone she knows, for the rest of her life.
As you bend on one knee, hold the ring in one hand while you hold her hand in the other.
Good luck and I wish you many years of wedded bliss!!

A tip for the single gals....

I'm working on a piece about dating in your 40s. Why? Cuz, well, I'm in my 40s and recently became single again.
Anyway, that's not the point. I just wanted to throw out a quick tip for you single gals of any age. Apparently you ladies are on the phone DURING a date and men HATE it. So don't talk, text, tweet or Facebook while you are on a date!!! Really? Do we have to be told not to be RUDE on a date? Has technology completely stripped us of common courtesy and polite manners? Did your parents raise you in a barn with the hogs? I was raised on a farm with hogs and I still have manners!!!
Come on ladies!!!! Surely you can wait until after the date to tell all your friends "Hey". If you don't like the guy and that's why you're being so rude, just tell him. Or find some reason to end the date early. End it with him quickly, like ripping off a band-aid. It will hurt but only for a bit and then he'll get over it. Better than dragging it out and leading him on.
Wouldn't you want the same courtesy from a man? Would you want to sit across the table from a guy who is more interested in his phone than he is in you?
DON'T BE RUDE!!! That is the number one complaint from men of all ages.

Broken

When I decided to write a blog, it was my intention to post something almost every day. I knew there would be exceptions, like if we had a birthday or holiday. I did not intend to skip an entire month of posting!!! You've heard the phrases, "Life is what happens while you're making plans" or "life happens" or "if you want to make God laugh, tell him YOUR plans".
Anyway, about 5 weeks ago, I went downstairs for a midnight snack. I was standing with my back to the open fridge door, cutting off a hunk o' cheese and the next thing I know, I woke up lying IN my refrigerator. Yes, IN the fridge!!
I have no idea how I got there or how long I had been lying in my refrigerator. I can't remember the placement of my body or what position my legs were in when I woke up. The only thing I knew and remember is that I was in EXCRUCIATING pain in my right leg. Specifically near the ankle and the knee. This next part is a bit fuzzy too but I started yelling for my daughter. She and the rest of my family were asleep upstairs. When everyone came downstairs, I managed to roll onto my back and tell them I thought I had broken my leg. Well, apparently you only had to look at my leg to know it was broken. The bone above my ankle had not come through the skin but was making a lump beneath the skin that was large enough to leave no doubt that my leg was broken. As far as my knee pain, everyone figured it was sprained or I had landed on it when I fell so maybe it was bruised.
I remember my Mom telling my daughter to call an ambulance. Well, I don't believe in calling 911 unless you're bleeding or dying so I said. "No. Now, just give me a minute. It won't hurt so bad in a minute. Just give me a minute." Of course, I couldn't see the bone protrusion and nobody was telling me there was a bone protrusion. Then there was some back and forth conversation that was just a blur and finally an ambulance was called. I remember hearing my daughter telling the operator "My Mom has broken her leg". I was not happy with her for telling the 911 operator that I broke my leg when maybe it was just a sprain or something stupid like that. I CAN tell you this, I have had 2 natural child births and I have NEVER experienced pain as severe as this!!!
When the EMTs arrived, they were more concerned with the fact that I had passed out than the fact that the pain in my leg was a freakin' 15 on a scale of 1-10. There was one young girl at my head checking for bumps or pain on my head and a young man knelt next to me trying to lean past the refrigerator door to talk to me and assess my neck for injury. He kept trying to figure out a way past the stupid refrigerator door but it was stuck above my shoulder and would not budge without me moving. I offered several times to try to move out of the way, being the polite hostess that I am, but each time I offered, all three EMTs would say, in unison, "NO!!! Don't move!!"
When they finally slid me past the fridge door onto the backboard, they carried me down the stairs to the ambulance. I remember yelling at the one of the women, "Your boob is touching my ankle! Get your boob off of my ankle!" Not something you hear or say everyday. ha ha!
The poor xray tech at the hospital couldn't get any good pictures because every time he tried to position my leg, I screamed. I spent 2 days in the cardiac ward before they sent me home. They referred me to another doctor at a different hospital to have surgery.
I STILL had a broken leg, the most extreme pain I have ever felt and no cast!! IN fact, it was broken in TWO places and both were spiral fractures. But the hospital wouldn't DO anything about my leg because I don't have medical insurance. They did however send me a bill for $24,000!!! They never did find out why I passed out. Thank you Kaiser! For nothing!!!
A couple days later I had surgery. A metal bar was drilled down, from my knee, the entire length of the tibia (shin bone) and a metal plate was secured with screws at my ankle to hold the foot to the leg.
I was surprised to learn that the fibula, the other leg bone that was broken up near the knee, doesn't need any repair. It doesn't support your weight and pretty much doesn't matter. "It will heal on it's own and even if it doesn't, it won't matter.", the doctor told me.
So, long story longer, it's been 5 1/2 weeks since I broke my leg in two places. 4 weeks since I had surgery and about $75,000 in doctor, hospital, xray, ambulance, anesthesia, and surgical supply bills. I'm stuck in bed and bored to tears. I'm hurting much less but still hurting and I can't stand for more than a few minutes without my leg starting to really ache.
Christmas shopping was all online this year. And I found out that Amazon.com is the ONLY online retailer that ACTUALLY ships for free to my state. They all say they ship free if you spend a certain dollar amount but I tried many of them and once I got to the check out, I discovered that they were going to charge me an arm and a leg for shipping. So, I kept going back to Amazon. If my order is at least $25, they ship for FREE!!!! Thank you Amazon for helping me out with my Christmas shopping this year. (This is not an advertisement. I don't know anybody at Amazon and they aren't giving me anything for writing about them. 10-4, over and out)
But, I have been inspired to help others by writing a "things to do when you're stuck in bed" post. So stay tuned!!!
Thank you all for your continued support and prayers.
Auntie
You can always contact me at askauntieann@gmail.com
I'm sorry if you have written and I haven't gotten back to you yet. I'm just now getting back into the swing of things.

My husband left me for another woman

Dear Auntie,
My husband left me for another woman 2 months ago! I'm freaking out right now!! I can't even feel anything but fear and failure right now. I'm totally depressed and I'm not sure life is even worth living at this point. He says we can work things out without a lawyer but my family tells me I NEED a lawyer. I can't imagine my future without him. I feel like I'm paralyzed. I can't move in any direction. I'm afraid to do the wrong thing. I don't want to have a long drawn out court battle but I'm afraid if I don't get a lawyer, I will end up with nothing. We've been married for 12 years and own a home together. We don't have any kids together so that isn't an issue. I just don't know what to do next. I can't stop crying. Everyone is telling me I'm better off without him and I know they're right but I can't work due to illness so how am I going to support myself? He says I should move in with one of my kids but I don't want to burden them. They are young adults just starting their families and don't need their mother getting in their way. I hate him Auntie!!! I never imagined I'd end up single again at my age. Now what?
Tearfully yours,
Depressed and alone

Dear Depressed,
I am so sorry to hear that your jerk face husband is one of the many who cheat on their spouses!!! I know exactly how you're feeling right now. I know that fear and depression can be paralyzing. I remember sitting in the dark, alone and crying, feeling like I was completely and utterly alone. My kids would come visit and bring my grandkids over but even seeing their cutie pie faces didn't take away the dark cloud that had filled my heart. I had shut down and stopped talking to people about it because they kept telling me "It will be ok. He's an ass, you're better off without him. You'll find somebody better. Don't be depressed. Go for a walk. Get some sunshine and fresh air." Etc etc etc. blah blah blah...Even people who had been through horrible divorces said stupid stuff like that. So I am NOT going to tell you any of that. At least not in the beginning.
I AM going to tell you to NOT make ANY decisions right now!!! Let me repeat.
. DO NOT MAKE ANY DECISIONS RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!!
Do not let your, soon to be ex jerk face, rush you into making a decision on ANYTHING right now. Getting a divorce, especially when it wasn't your choice, is a loss that you will mourn over. Give yourself time to mourn. Be sad, angry, hurt, confused, pissed off, and every other emotion that comes to you. You can't stop being sad or depressed just because someone tells you to stop. You have every right to feel sad or be depressed!! Most days, in the beginning, I didn't even get out of jammies. Some days I couldn't even bring myself to take a shower. I just didn't care; about anything. The few people I did tell, about how depressed I was, would tell me "You have so much to live for. Your kids and grandkids etc". The truth is, I was so depressed that even my kids and grandkids weren't reason enough to get up in the morning. You have to allow yourself time to heal. Tell people "Just give me time to feel what I'm feeling. Then I will make some decisions." How much time? Well that is different for everyone. Don't let anyone rush you or pressure you. But at the same time, your jerk face isn't going to wait forever. I would say that it's probably time, since its been 2 months, to ask your doctor about an anti-depressant. Just to get you over the hump.
Personally, I try not to take meds if I can find a natural alternative. *I am not a doctor and my opinion should not be taken as medical advice. Always seek a professional, medical consult before beginning any dietary or supplement regimen.* Sorry but I have to add disclaimers since I am not a medical professional.
Anyway...this is what I did. My daughter was getting really worried about me so she did a ton of research on depression and natural remedies for it. She found that Niacin (vitamin B3) had been found to "cure" severe depression. It is water soluble, like Vit C, and whatever your body does not need/use will pass through your urine. I started taking 1, 500mg capsule, 3 times per day for a few days and then upped the dosage to 2 capsules, 3 times a day, then 3 capsules, 3 times per day and so on, until I felt better. I ended up taking 2000 mg, 3 times a day. That was the dosage that worked for me.
So, whichever route you take, to help your depression, once you start feeling better you can brush your teeth, take a shower, put on your favorite outfit and maybe some makeup and THEN start to make some decisions. Your first decision needs to be that HE is an ass and YOU deserve better!! You deserve to be happy and you deserve, and are entitled to, half of everything you and he own. You are also entitled to alimony and possibly some of his retirement. Each state is different. I do recommend getting an attorney. In some states you can go to the "legal aide society" for free legal services. I don't know if they will represent you in court or just help with paperwork. There can be a lot of paperwork that is very confusing and there are deadlines as to when each paper has to be filed.
Go to your state's website and read up on "contested" and "uncontested" divorce. You need to decide which one is right for you.
Uncontested means you and jerk face agree on how to divide assets, how much alimony, how much retirement you will get and so on. Uncontested is much cheaper and faster, because you don't use a lawyer. You should still get legal advice even if you decide to go this route.
Contested means you and jerk face do NOT agree and want a judge to decide. You and the lawyers will argue your case in court and then the judge will make the decision of what is right and fair for each party. Lawyers usually ask for a "retainer". This means you pay them, up front, a certain amount to represent you. Then on top of that you will pay an hourly fee for every phone call, email, paper written/filed and every other thing they do for you. It ain't cheap I can tell you that!! Ask the divorced people you know if they can refer you to a good lawyer. I STRONGLY suggest that you ask for jerk face to pay your legal fees as part of the settlement. Some judges will award that and some will not but it can't hurt to ask. If you get a lawyer, do not have personal conversations with your ex. You may unknowingly undermine what your lawyer has been discussing with his lawyer.
At this point your friends and family are going to become legal "experts". They'll tell you stories of "my friend did this and this is what you should do". Just thank them for their support and then either file their advice in the "circular file", AKA the trash can, or make a note of it to ask your lawyer.
Speaking of "making a note of it". Get a new notebook and start writing down everything. Keep a list of questions to ask your legal advisor, whether it's the aide society or a paid attorney, write down your thoughts and questions. You've heard the saying, "there are no stupid questions..." Well, sometimes there ARE stupid questions but not in divorce. There are too many different variables in divorce to keep track of yourself so ASK QUESTIONS. Search the Internet. Become your own advocate by researching divorce laws in your state. This will help you come up with questions that you may never have thought of yourself.
Keep EVERYTHING!!! Every letter, every email, every text message. If you have a conversation with your jerk face, as soon as it is over, write down the date, time and every word of the conversation. Both sides. What he said AND what you said. Keeping a log or journal will help you to remember what was actually said and not what your emotions tell you was said months later. Bring your notebook to court with you every time you go. This way you can remind yourself and your attorney, or the judge, what, when and where things happened.
Do not ask for the moon. Only ask for what is "fair". The judge will look more favorably on you if he/she sees that you aren't trying to "take him for all he's worth". That was one of the things my friends and family kept telling me. "Take him for all he's worth". Judges do not have an emotional stake in your divorce and they do not like seeing scorned spouses trying to rake the other spouse over the coals. Find out from your attorney what you are entitled to under the laws of your state and ask for exactly that. Make sure your attorney knows of your inability to work. That will factor into the settlement you receive. IF you became disabled DURING your marriage, you may be entitled to more. As an example, jerk face may have to continue to pay for your medical expenses even after the divorce is final. And we all know that medical insurance, meds, hospital stays, surgeries and more, can put you straight into the poor house.
Be ready. You can't really prepare yourself for the emotional ups and downs of the divorce process but do not be caught off guard either. Again, knowledge is key. Educate yourself so if jerk face and his attorney start playing dirty, you know what the law says. Do not be surprised if jerk face brings up stuff that happened years ago. As one example, my ex jerk face wanted me to "reimburse" him $32,000 for an inheritance he received a year after we got married. First off, the actual amount was only $17,000 and secondly, we used that money to buy a car that he took with him when he left me. I had ALL the paperwork we ever received abut the inheritance and the car so I was able to prove that he was lying. When I told him I had proof, he dropped that subject altogether. HA! I'm no dummy you jackass!!!!
Now, speaking of paperwork, get yours together. Every bill, receipt, tax statements, pay stubs, mortgage documents, HELOC statements, credit card statements, etc... Everything you can find from the entire time you've been married. Including your medical records/bills. You may or may not need some of these but better prepared than sorry. Find them now so that when you have a deadline to file something with the courts you aren't scrambling and stressing out trying to find that one piece of paper in a sea of papers. You do not need more stress in your life right now. Make a permanent divorce file. Keep this file for many years!! I don't have an exact number of years so I suggest a timeline of...forever. Not really forever but you never know if jerk face is going to take you back to court years from now to try and change your settlement. If he changes jobs, gets married, has more kids, gets injured and can't work, retires or whatever, he may try to get your settlement changed so he can pay you less or stop paying you altogether. And if you've never done it before, start keeping a separate file, from the date of your divorce forward, of all your living expenses and medical expenses. You may need to use them in the future as well.
Make sure you are at least trying to take care of yourself. I know how hard it is when you're under so much stress but you HAVE TO at least try. Get enough sleep, make sure you are eating healthy and if you can, get a little bit of exercise and time outdoors. Sunshine is the best natural remedy for stress and depression. Do not let jerk face win by allowing yourself to fall apart completely.
And don't be afraid to ask for help. You are NOT alone and people will want to be there for you, so let them. Let them cook for you. Except the invites to coffee or dinner. Try to find something other than the divorce and your jerk face to talk about. If you can't think of anything else because your entire life IS your divorce right now, ask people how they are doing. What they are doing. People love to talk about themselves and their kids so let them. It will give you a little down time to NOT think about the divorce.
Just because it's "final" does not mean its "over", emotionally speaking. Once the judge signs off on your divorce and your papers get processed and stamped "Final on this date", there are going to be many more emotions that come. So again, you can't really be prepared for what you'll feel or how you'll respond but be ready. You'll get your final papers in the mail. On that day, you're going to feel "something". Maybe you'll be happy and relieved that its over or maybe you'll be sad again that your marriage is over. Then you may start getting letters in the mail from insurance companies, credit card companies etc. It seemed like all these companies were rubbing it in my face and reminding me that I was a failure because my marriage was over. I remember asking, out loud, "How many times and in how many ways can the world keep reminding me that I am a middle aged, failure and will be alone for the rest of my life?" I cried each time something new showed up in the mail, teasing me, taunting me and reminding me that I am now single at my age. Allow yourself to feel those feelings but DO NOT let jerk face "win" by letting yourself go back to that dark and lonely place you were when this divorce began. When you get one of these letters, cry for a bit and then call a girlfriend and go out and celebrate that you have a new lease on life.
You get a "do over". You get to reinvent yourself. You get the opportunity to start from scratch and become anything or anyone you want. You're like the kid that just graduated high school, except, YOU have hindsight on your side. You have life experience on your side that the 18 year old, high school grad, doesn't have. Therefore you can make more educated decisions on which direction you want your life to go.
Do not live in the past, full of regret but rather look to your future, full of excitement for the new things that you will create in your life.
I hope to hear from you again. And I hope that you are able sign your letter, "Happy, Healthy, Single and ready to take on a new world".
With love and encouragement
Auntie
You can email me questions at askauntieann@gmail.com

Restless Leg Syndrome

Do you lay awake night after night with this horrible, almost painful, feeling in your legs that only moving them helps? It makes you crazy and you try to will yourself to NOT move your legs. If you can just have enough will power to not move them, maybe you'll be able to fall asleep. It's a feeling that is difficult to describe to someone who has never experienced it. You try and try to fall asleep but you absolutely have to move your legs so you get at least 3.5 seconds of relief.
As a kid I had these awful feelings that would keep me awake and I would kick my feet wildly and thrash around, like a fish out of water, as long as I could or run around my room until my legs felt like jelly. I had no idea what was wrong with me and my parents would yell at me to "go to sleep or else". I tried! I really did. I wanted more than anything to be sleeping instead of my legs freaking out and keeping me awake.
As an adult, I would have those same "I'm going to die if I don't move my legs" feelings when I would fly. I even tried paying an arm and a leg, no pun intended, to fly First Class hoping that having the extra leg room would help. NOPE!!! Not even a little bit! So I am the person pacing the isles while other people sleep soundly and arrive at their destination refreshed and well rested. I on the other hand am exhausted, cranky and want to hurt someone.
Or maybe you have "jerking" movements while you're sleeping. Maybe the person in the bed with you at night complains that you are kicking them or moving so much they can't sleep. Of course you are sorry you disturbed their sleep but at the same time you want to yell, "Oh YOU couldn't sleep? Aw, poor baby! YOU couldn't sleep. NOW YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL!!!!!"
Ok, so maybe you're not the sarcastic type that I am but after about 3 nights of no sleep, I'm a little bit cranky. Or grumpy as my daughter points out. By night 4 and 5 of no sleep, I just want to rip someone's head off. Fortunately I am not a violent person by nature.
It was half my lifetime before doctors gave this a name. Millions of people suffered and thought they were the only ones. When they complained to their docs they were told to exercise more, don't eat late at night, don't drink caffeine, don't smoke, don't don't don't...people had to self medicate by taking sleeping pills or drinking alcohol before bed. Which I have tried both of those and it makes it worse because then I'm even more tired and more frustrated that I can't sleep. Which makes me more "grumpy" the next day.
Fortunately, modern medicine has finally caught up and gave it a name. Some people are even able to get on disability for it because they aren't able to safely perform their job or stay awake during the day long enough to hold down a job.
For more information on RLS, you can search the web or go to this site...
http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmedhealth/PMH0001810/
I also recommend you visit MDJunction.com They have a support group for folks like you and me that suffer from this non-life threatening yet still horrible, agonizing and miserable syndrome.
Do you have RLS? Have you found anything that helps? Please share your successful treatments with us in the comments section. If you follow me on Pinterest, I've pinned a few treatments. I haven't tried them yet but I plan to very soon.
Here's wishing you many restful nights of sweet dreams and peaceful slumber.
Auntie